last place

Why can’t things be simpler? I mean, must there always be so much confusion and uncertainty? True, maybe having things handed on a silver platter all the time might indeed get a lil boring, true, there may be some things you would want handed on a gold platter, accompanied by a lovely gold spoon even. So then why can’t there be a balance, a little good and a little bad to keep the good in check. Am I missing something? I know I’ve got to be missing something. Maybe if I looked up at the sky, ya know, like what those people do before they get a brilliant idea, maybe that might work. Hum…….let me try. Nope, nothing so far, oh shoot, suppose I wasn’t looking up long enough, stupes, I can’t win. I remember in my younger days I couldn’t wait to be this age. I had so many damn plans and now as my birthdays come and go I feel as though I’m running out of time - time to do what though? I obviously not running out of time if I can spend said time looking up in the sky for something, stupes, so I just wasted time then, I can’t win. I remember I always used to feel as though I was running a race but with who though? I guess my friends, people around me, constantly looking at others and making comparisons, they’re always ahead. But then, ha! I developed multiple personalities so I was basically racing my other selves. Aren’t I the smart one? It’s amazing how you could have one personality around one person and then be a totally different person around another. How does one keep it up? I’m bedazzled everything I notice the switch. What is this invisible pressure that forces us to play this game of hide and seek constantly, geez, I already in a race and now this? I can’t win. But maybe I approaching it from the wrong angle though, maybe hmmmm, if I turn my head this way and….look up with my head tilted slightly, yeah, this way, so that now my left eye is closer to the………YUP! There it is, woohoo! I just received a brilliant idea (wow, my brain is faster than ADSL). I should probably stop worrying about my time, take a breather from this race and just accept the fact that somebody always has to be in last place. Hum……which personality will it be though? AHHHHH, I can’t decide….oh the pressure.