minipulate the mind shape and get your back ripped

i am so sleepy, another sleepless night. and i can't say there's anything on my mind really besides the usual but i just couldn't fall into a nice deep slumber. oh woe is me. i think i am becoming a workaholic like my dad and i don't want to become that kinda person. what is it with me bringing work home? working on the wk-ends when i should be liming. i think i spend my time up at night thinking about the work i have to do the next day. if i would learn how to manage my time better i wouldn't have these issues instead of spending my time say, blogging.........lol

i am so looking forward to this long wk-end. i'll try to hit the beach. watch some tv online (who has time for regular tv?) spend some tlc with my dogs, they must really be feeling neglected recently. try to take in some photography. i've really been getting some nice shots recently, but i'd like to get a picture of the sunset (how cliche) but hey, i want it. i think i need to broaden my scope tho, ye nature is nice but i gotta find something that is more original....oh how i wish i'd get a bright idea right now

so how much do i hate listening to the radio? ALOT!!!! how i wish we had some satellite radio up in this joint (oh woe is me) the endless talking and cracking of corny jokes, the varying accents (i mean are we in barbados aren't we?) and the repetition of the same songs over and over, sigh* where is the originality. less reggae more jazz, less commercial rap more neo-rap (i mean like those underground artists are ppl too geez) more trip hop, more something. i mean seriously if i have to hear "with you" one more time i'm gonna puke!!!!! that chris brown is cute though.......

i'm hungry....

i think i'm too naive sometimes and this naivety is causing me now to be so suspicious of everyone, everyone's actions. why can't everyone just be genuine, it's like we are all wearing masks hiding our true selves and we're forced to conform. what would it be like to be in a non-conformist system? i guess at the end of the day i just have to always try to remain true to myself. i am the only person i can count on when it comes to certain things.....

i'm hungry......

1.11 pm, what a weird time, but i should get back to work. this anger management group this evening should be interesting. these young boys have so much anger and are so quick to use their hands and not their minds. opportunities knocking at their door and yet they refuse to answer. i just asked one of my clients, why do you smoke weed? he said to get high, so i was like well why not eat it? you can get high the same way, he was like "chaaa den, i ainno" typical. this notion of "belonging" i feel is what drives people's actions. how foolish would he look if when he went on the block and everyone was smoking he pulled out a turkey sandwich and sprinkled the weed on it instead, lol. he laughed at that, (i think i stil got it!) he laughed but still had no answer for me. so i'm left with the same question.....why smoke?

i'm thankful for today, thankful for life, i'm so blessed and i recognize that more as i grow older and every morning i wake up it's like God is giving me yet another try at getting it right.

thanks.