looking for an umbrella to stand under (ella ella)

ok i feel a lil better today, music and writing are two of the most stress relieving and relaxing exercises i can think of, i got a lot of that done this week-end, so now i feel better and i am hoping this mood carries on into the week.

back to work from today, really enjoyed my time off, time for reflection. what am i doing here? i know i don't like it here, i just don't have the vibes with my co-workers as i had at my last job, that 'looking forward to go to work feeling', that passion and drive? gone. come back, i need it in order to exist here without losing my mind. sigh.

hungry as usual, what should i eat? leftovers yummy! nothing beats food from the day before. i've been trying to stay a way from junkfood so far for the year, so kfc, chefette (i don't even know if that's how it's spelt) and any other junk around the place but chaaaa i would sink my teeth into a thigh from kfc just about now. i was never a chefette person, beef roti and that's it, but kfc wow wee! good stuff. so been yamming some greens (pffftttt) and much more fruit, which i love so that doesn't hurt as much and i drink nothing but water now for the past 4 yrs even though that can get so boring at times gosh, what i wouldn't do for a sprite. actually you know what i'll treat myself to a coke and two sprites today :)

i think my problem is that i don't know what i want. i left here with a plan - deviated of course. came back here with a plan and i think it's still in my suitcase and now i'm here. Here. i am trying to keep the faith and give thanks. i tell myself, maybe my dreams are taking so long to come to fruition cause the lord wants me to learn the art of patience. now i get it. i should look at the lesson in this song.

misconceptions. recently ppl have been getting the wrong idea, is it me? i've been asked why a lot. 'why' u did that? 'why' did u say that? 'why' did you think that? is it me? no matter how nice or genuine you try to be it always comes across in a negative way. frankly i am tired of trying. i know me and i know what i am about and that should be enough.

my poor tom brady, i'm sure he could use my shuolder to cry on just about now, congrats NY.

i would love to open a dog santuary, i've been seeing so many homeless dogs on the road, skin and bones, looking for food in every corner they could find. it is so sad. i mean why have an animal, any animal if you're not going to care for it, it just makes no sense. i could never imagine mine wandering the streets starving. i wish there was more that i could do to help thes animals. maybe i should join a help group.

gossip, stupes, if you haven't heard it from my mouth why believe it. don't you know me?

sending love to my grandparents across the seas........