i made it!! (to today)

beautiful sun
radiating sunbeams of glory
God and all His awesomeness
is my favorite bedtime story
trials and temptations
and doubting "Thomases"
he has never yet failed me
and has kept all of His promises
how excellent is His name
when spoken with righteous lips
and made from the earth
and plucked from a rib
he keeps my soul dancing
in the early morning
and calms my spirit daily
until twilight's dawning
and when i lay me down at night
i rest my weary head
knowing the grace of God
has me....
well fed.

thank you.

today will be an awesome day as i have the power to control my thoughts and actions. though temptations may follow me i'll keep them in the background cause i have more profound reason to give my best. i'm blessed, so blessed and sometimes i wonder why me? but i won't question God and his originality i will just try to be....a good servant.

been feeling a bit burnt out recently, feels like i am living to work, instead of working to live. the former speaks to my life being void of prayers and praise and more on hours and bills. i don't like it but i have myself to blame who else but me can efficiently manage my time?

....balance. i'm a Libra and i can't find the balance. it troubles me.

a friend of mine suggested to me earlier this week that i should dedicate at least 5-10 minutes of alone time for talking with God and i haven't even made the effort. i will do that shortly.

with each day i feel even more thankful, thankful for eyes that can see the morning sun..

a grown woman...

there was a hint of sweetness
in your voice
said i was on your mind
and i blushed
was i? was i really?
brought a smile to my face
yes....yes you did
that you were thinking of me
made me wonder
how often do you....
think of me?

peace!

today was a nice day. i feel good and i feel like my confidence is coming back. looking forward to tonight.

i loved him. nuff said!

i can't wait for my trip, i think it is just what i need, a week in NY while fall is slowly creeping in, and i can finally take a trip that feels like a vacation.....no shopping! just parks and museums and plays and movies, oh and relaxation. i can't wait to see my grandparents again...i miss them

i think i will also look for a job (just to keep my options open)

praise and meditation and then he came...

melancholy days

i feel, hum....i feel.....down.

sometimes i miss NY so much it hurts, things made so much more sense there, things fell into place so easily, well most of the time and it's like here, i feel like i can't get it right. i try my best to fit in, why? i don't even know myself, i was so sure, so confident and now i feel stagnant.

i miss Jan and i wish she was still here, i guess she may be part of the reason i'm missing NY so much, even though i know she wishes she were here instead (disclaimer: yes yes she is Lucian and she still loves St. Lucia, plz don't disown her) but i guess as she says she finds 'peace' in Barbados.....

.....her peace is my, what's the word, unease i guess. like i am part of this puzzle, i know i am, i just can't find my position in the picture. i can't see where i should lay, where i should plant my seeds. man i wanna plant my seeds so badly, they're burning my hands but where?

i feel down. like a failure, this rat race is sucking me dry, everywhere i look i don't qualify anymore. am i reaching too high? i don't know. prayer. i gotta keep praying but sometimes my own faith fails me. i guess i'm not as strong as i thought i was. but i know i am beautifully made, i just don't believe it enough.

i will pick myself back up though and i will make it, and i will become all i envision myself becoming i just need to recognize HIS time is not my time so i will be patient and i will listen.

i will listen openly.