suffocating slowly

my condolences to leslee, lisa and the entire Reynolds family....

i've always heard the only thing we can be sure of is death and taxes but sometimes (i think too often actually) i wonder on death. was reading the newspaper yesterday and learnt of this old woman who was burnt alive the previous night and i was just like damn. chaaaa, why? she lived to such an old age, surviving the changing environment, different governments, taxes, the rise in cost of living, some heartache i'm sure but then to spend her last mins alive burning???? things like that tend to rock my faith to be honest. i know i shouldn't dare question God but recently i've been questioning.

relationships are hard to begin with without others getting involved. i feel like i have no privacy and at this age this is just not how i pictured it. i am not a bad person but i feel like i am choking, suffocating and i can't breathe or come up for air. sigh* leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the devil is working i can feel it, must be the long wk-end that has freed up so much of his time but i refuse to let him get to me, i refuse to let him win. i gotta try to stay positive in rain and wind, i gotta let my light shine through, the only person i'm trying to reach is you and i really don't care what your father says. nuff said.

is?
is it the way you smile when i walk in the room?
is it the way you bring life to my spirit and soul?
it is the way you take control of my mood and shift me to a brighter attitude?

is it you?

is it you that wakes me up in the morning to live a new day?
is it you that challenges me and takes me to higher planes?
is it you that listens and never gets tired of my complaints?

is it you?

that has the power to move hills and mountains?
that commands the waters that run in rivers and fountains?
that gives life to every living thing and living being?
that i believe in though i've never seen?

ye it must be..

the God of the valley
the bright and morning star
you are everywhere and in everything
giving me the spiritual energy to bring joy to my sadness
and hope to my wavering, wandering being.

thank you.